Whoa now. Just hold on. They told me I’d need to develop a thicker skin if I was going to be more public. I’m working on it. I really am. Skin-thickening exercises daily. Affirmations and crap. “I am awesome, no matter what anybody else says.”
But day two?!? Day TWO??? I’m getting hit with insults and negativity on DAY FRICKIN’ TWO? So, here, an unscheduled post (yes, I’m that organized…so far) to follow up about my “health changes and choices” that make me “holier than thou.”
I’m a mess. A big one. A grieving, sleep-deprived, hypersensitive, extroverted mess. I wear my mess on my sleeve. It goes with everything. I am not trying to be “better than you.” I am not trying to “make you feel bad about your own choices.” I am trying to live until 100. I am trying to be happy on the way there. I am trying to share some of that journey with people I love (and strangers, because I’m also trying to love everybody).
Let’s talk about my health. I’m really healthy. Super healthy. My BMI could use some work, but I try not to stress about that. You know who isn’t healthy? Basically every other person in my family. I have no clue why I’ve been so lucky thus far. My dad died when he was 47. Four of my eight aunts and uncles have been hospitalized for major illness in the past five years. My mom died last fall at age 68. It was her third time with cancer. You see maybe where I’m going with this? I’m feeling a little doomed.
I have this new life goal, and it’s super simple: don’t get cancer. Enter health changes. Because even though I’m awesome right now, I know I might not stay that way. But I also know there are things I can do to reduce risk. So, I’m a risk-reducing machine. I read and pay attention, so I know the general idea. Exercise=reduces risk. Bacon=increases risk. The list is a helluva lot longer than that, but I’ll let you do your own research. Because I’m not an expert. Find the experts, read what they write. I just know what I want. I want to live until 100.
If I were a Parks and Rec character, I’d be Chris Traeger, if only for the insane amount of supplements I take. But I’d also be Leslie Knope, because I stinkin’ love waffles. Okay, I probably lost a few of you there, but you get the idea. Maybe I don’t need to take nine supplements every day, or eat organic, or be a vegetarian, but it makes me feel better, even if only psychologically better. I’m good with that. And maybe I’ll still get cancer. Nothing’s a sure thing. BUT. Here’s the truth of it. If I DO get sick, I want to know it wasn’t because of anything I did. I want to know that if I get cancer, people will be surprised. People will say, “Oh, wow, that sucks. She took such good care of herself.”
And my healthy living choices are not even close to the most interesting things I have to write about. But I will write about them. I’m trying to love everybody, and I want the people I love to be informed. So there ya go. Learn some things. Ignore me. No matter. You be you. I’ll be me. It’ll all be fine. I want you to FEEL good. If your choices do make you feel good, then you probably wouldn’t have to go commenting on my blog that I’m making you feel bad. Just sayin’.